Maternity Ward/Avery's birth (the nitty gritty version)

This post has been edited.

(If you don't want to read about bad things that happen and want to pretend that everything is la dee dah, then ... don't read it? That would probably be the best thing ... Hey! Consider yourself warned.)

Morning musings

I'm really not a morning person. Really not. But there's something about waking up to pick a baby out of a crib and help a toddler out of her 'dirty clothes' that makes it all worth it. I wasn't a breakfast person either, but watching Will chomp on some homemade toast while Amélie sucks back about 3 yogurts makes me smile. I even manage to sneak some food myself. Today it was cereal and cheese.

I don't even mind the one hour of cleaning that I do before computer time (although when Corey works nights it becomes one hour of cleaning whenever I get to it).

I've also been cleaning up my facebook profile page, deleting old posts, when I came across one from Enjoying the Small things about her daughter Nella's birth. I cry no matter how many times I've read it. She really makes it easy to just be happy to be myself and actually enjoy the things that make me 'unique', like my Star Trek fascination, and my sporadic creative moments.

I don't feel guilty about not cleaning my house all the time either. I never used to buy anything nice for Amelie because I knew she'd get it dirty, now ... if I see a dress on sale (has to be pretty awesome sale) that I know she'll enjoy, I'll buy it if we can afford it. In fact, I recently purchased an adorable black dress (for next year) but Amelie spotted it amongst my groceries and whipped it out, gasping as if she'd just found buried treasure! By the time I'd come in with a second helping of groceries she was wearing it, pleased as punch. I'm pretty sure that if I'd paid 30$ for that dress (original price) it would already be stained, but since I only paid 7$ ...

I'm looking forward to spring. Amélie already picked out a pair of rubber boots, but unfortunately the shipping cost didn't make it feasible, so hopefully I can find them somewhere else! There's something about spring that makes me feel ... good. I don't know how to describe it and even when I try to think about it ... all that comes to mind is me standing outside in rubber boots, surrounded by melting snow, being very pregnant and inhaling that spring air. Amélie running through puddles and playing in the 'moat' Devon made to keep water away from our house. I imagine me walking in to work wearing sandals, because I really like wearing sandals! I'm excited for spring.

But, I'll enjoy winter at home with my two little spring babies. I'll be grateful for every second that I get to spend with them, and with my niece.

We all know that kids grow up to fast. Wasn't it yesterday that I was begging my mom to buy me anything other than a sweatsuit for my first day of school? Or to go out on a date? Where did this walking baby come from? And this self-proclaimed 'big girl'?

Sigh.

Is it possible to be this happy, even with laundry constantly piled on the couch, toys strewn across everywhere, dishes in the sink and kids running around half naked?

Turns out it is!

Making bread

I'm making bread today. As in right. now. It's actually rising in the oven. The concept still surprises me. How did it happen?

Interesting fact : Will is trying wear socks on his head. It isn't working.
Interesting fact 2 : Since I already have 2 posts today I might only post this tomorrow which means the updates won't make sense. Keep this in mind when you are reading.

First, I thought it would be a good idea to make bread and freeze it. After that my body took over and made bread. All by itself.

Me : What's happening?
Body : Makin' bread. Don't panic.
Me : I'm panicking a little!
Body : Get the salt
Me : Salt? Okay. I can't find salt!!! (panicking now)
Body : Don't panic, it's going to be okay. Did you get the yeast?
Me : Omg. I did!!! How did I do that?? (freaking out)
Body : Now mix this together.
Me : No. I don't want to. (resisting)  Are you supposed to mix yeast? Wait. Stop arm! Why aren't you listening?!!!
Body : We're making bread. It's no big deal.
Me : (sobbing) It Is a big deal. (GASP for breath) I can't make bread!!!
Body : Look. You're doing it!
Me : (pause) I - I am. I AM doing it!! (Crazy happy) I'm MAKING BREAD!!!
Body : Now, cover it and put it in the oven.
Me : What if it doesn't rise?
Body : Don't worry. It'll rise
Me : I have to tell FACEBOOK!!
Body : After you clean up.
Me : No. You clean up.
Body : Okay.
Me : Okay. Wait a minute ....

Some time later

I told facebook.

Bread dough!!!

Update : The bread rose. I think. Not entirely sure, but when I punched it, it definitely had risen a little bit. So Amélie and I made two loaves and a little man. With a baby loaf for the little man. And now we're waiting to see if it rises again.

In the meantime, this :

I like shopping online. A lot. I've discovered a few sites, like Babysteals and kidsteals and scrapbook steals. The deals are awesome! But it depends what you want, sometimes the shipping is outrageous if it weighs over a certain amount. That means I couldn't get Amelie the awesome rubber boots that were on sale, nor could I get the rainbow blocks because it wasn't worth the shipping. But I did get babylegs, footless tights and a scrapbook kit of alphabets. I've also been perusing the Please Mum site. Anyone have experience with it? I can read a size chart a hundred times but still not be sure if it's lying to me or not.

Update : Bread rose again! Yay!? Now to see how it tastes once it's cooked/baked.

Update on the 'in the meantime' : Too late ordered stuff.


Also. I'm watching 'The Princess and the frog'

NEW update : The bread man was yummy.

Done bread! I forgot to get a picture of bread man. Oh well. Also.
I love how my bread doesn't really look like a normal piece of bread ... lol

Cloth diapers

This is really the most intriguing idea ever. Of course, now that I'm going back to work and we are nearly done having kids it seems unreasonable, but ... yet ... I'm always drawn to it! I can't help it. With sites like Babysteals, Mamabargains, Baby Half Off and other places, maybe even Once upon a child or any other 2nd hand store, it's almost, incredibly feasible to buy them too!

I will admit, my first thought when I seen the price of how expensive they were ... for just ONE, made me vomit a little inside my mouth. But ... then, I was introduced to people who do cloth diapering and love it!! So I'm convinced money wise.

But, then again, my water here is ridiculously hard. In fact, I boil it and there's particles floating in my water and TONS of rust. Gross! So the thought of putting any money into cloth diapers and then them being wrecked is not particularly appealing. ALTHOUGH, if they even only lasted for one baby it would still save me a lot of money, and it's not crazy work either. I've also debated using cloth diapers 'part-time'. I'm still debating. Will is probably going to be potty trained by the time I decide something about them.

Then it'll be if it's worth buying them for only 1 baby. If we have our new house by then ... I probably will.

I really wish we didn't have retarded water.

Update 101 in 1001

CAKE!

Week 3 completed. 

More updates

# 34 Make a fondant cake - I made a cake for Gayle's baby shower. It was interesting. The inside was chocolate/vanilla with cream cheese frosting. And then ... pink and yellow fondant. It was supposed to be a bumblebee but ... it came out as something else lol.

# 78 - Went to the baby shower. I realize it's not the best mommy/me date but ... I'm counting it.

# 93 - The Godfather : February 19th with Devon, Yvonne and Corey. It was actually pretty good. We spent a lot of the time trying to decide if that was or was NOT Al Pacino. It was!

Indiana Jones - Raiders of the lost Ark : February 18th with Corey. I also dislike snakes and thought that the girl actress was annoying haha.

Sound of Music : February 21st with Madison/Amelie/Will. Those kids are so bratty haha. Good ol' classic :)

# 98 - I made some slow cooker potatoes. I don't know what it is with scalloped potatoes, but they hate me. Basically.

There ya go. Awesomeness. Well ... it's getting hard to keep track of things as I do them, especially the weekly ones/daily ones. I'll have to get them into my blog right when I do them.

Baby Shower

My day started off with me crawling out of bed to the sound of my toddler announcing she had to pee, followed by my baby's coos and hand slapping of his crib railing. After stumbling around for a bit I got my act in gear and did stuff. What stuff? I ... have no memory of what happened for about an hour after I woke up.

Then I got ready (showered, made Corey get up, put make-up on (I know you didn't even notice did you? I'm getting better haha)) Then I went outside to start the car ... and it wouldn't start. Blech. After dumping my cargo in the back of the car, I went back into the house and informed Corey that the car wasn't starting. He made a feeble attempt to get out of having to do anything about it, but ... it was a very feeble attempt.

Will and I watched from the window as Corey got it all figured out, boosted and all that mechanical crap. I packed Amelie into the car, after loading it up, and left the house. I had to make one stop because my neighbour T had sick kids :( so I would pick up Gayle's gift there.

I was going to be on time. Yay!

But no.

False alarm.

I forgot my juices. Turn around go back.

Get going again. Yay! Still have time to pick up that gift at the neighbor's! Wait ... where's the food? GAH! Go back. No time to stop this time.

About 1/2 way there I'm thinking about all the stuff that has to get done and I realize I forgot the coffee creamer that I purposely bought for this event. SCREW YOU COFFEE CREAMER! You can just stay home!

BEEEEEP.

Me : What's that noise? (Look down) Oh good. It's nothing important just the low fuel light. No big deal at all. 

I get to Gayle's and pick up my sister Patricia, who is going to come help me set up and I'm honking the horn, phoning her ... (somewhat like a crazy person) HURRY UP I'M GOING TO RUN OUT OF FUEL!! AAAAHHHH!  Mom was already there and waiting (sorry mom)

I didn't run out of fuel.

We got there, unloaded the car, fairly quickly actually, and I stood for ... at least 2 minutes trying to decide if I should get fuel. I went and got fuel. Then. I came back. Patricia and I then tried to make punch. It was great!! (Becky said so, therefore it was true) I can't believe I didn't take a picture of the punch. Weird.

The day itself went pretty good. Quite a few people didn't come, which was disappointing because I'd planned for that many. I mean ... if you can't come last minute, that's one thing, but knowing you won't be able to come and saying you will ... that's another. No?

But I made THIS :

Diaper cake. First one ever. I already want to make
another one. Who wants one!?

My first ever fondant cake. SUPER excited about it.
My next one will also be WAY cooler and better.

PEOPLE!

Sisters!!

ME! Doing a cool pose. Like. I'm SO hip.

Sophie the giraffe.

We played some baby bingo. Toni won. She also won the Mary Kay prize! LUCKY girl! And Melanie won my other prize! YAY! For Them. Speaking of bingo, talk about bad planning. I was down to TWO words ... and I only had 1 prize. Oopsies. Luckily only one person won! HOW? I don't have a friggin' clue!!! PHEW!

I had also made a cake. And I was SO worried it would be gross, but it was actually good! Unfortunately, I had hyped everyone into thinking it wasn't good, so ... hardly anyone ate it. Lol. Oh well. ;) I had also make cookies and fudge and mom brought lots of stuff too. I think it was alright. :)

Interesting fact : I had made some juice ice cubes that never got used. NOW what to do with them???
Interesting fact 2 :  I can't wait to make another fondant cake and diaper cake!
Interesting fact 3 : My basement is in serious need of cleaning again. Sigh.
Interesting fact 4 : I've been stalking Sweet Baby K for new things.

Scentsy

I'm going to have a Scentsy party.

I'm REALLY EXCITED!!

Usually, someone has a party and I'm all like ...woohoo. yay. go party. (not excited)

But then while stalking catching up with some peoples' facebook pages I seen that a step-relative (through marriage) became a Scentsy consultant. I, being the type of person who likes to be in everyone's business informed and see if I can support in some way, googled it. I was very, very interested.

Then my friend (not the imaginary one, but she could be because she lives far away) was having a Discovery Toy party/Scentsy party, and I wanted to support her so I did. I also got one for my mother-in-law for Christmas. She LOVES it!! I love mine too! It took me forever to decide which scents/warmers to get. Seriously, one of the biggest decision I've ever made.

Corey hates it because it makes the house smell like sugar cookies and makes him STARVING. (That means he actually likes it) I had gotten a citrusy scent as well and it made my house smell so clean, even though it WASN'T. I totally tricked my mom!!!

Mom : Wow, it smells clean in here
Me : I know! Look at how clean it is.
Mom : I don't even notice that pile of dishes, couch full of laundry, crumbs on the floor, cobwebs in the doorways ...
Me : What are you talking about?
Mom : I don't know ... I don't see anything. My nose is having a little smell party. It's so awesome. I want some. It's so clean! It's like magic!

Interesting Fact : She doesn't have any yet, but I'm sure she will get some at my party.
Interesting Fact 2 : I wanted this to be my status but ran out of room.


You should come to my party!! I might have a basket party so I can come to you if you can't come to me :) Also, if you have a Scentsy party after I have my Scentsy party, I will definitely come to your Scentsy party because I won't be able to decide what scents to get and will have a perfect excuse to buy them at your party. Or if you have a Discovery Toy party, or possibly an Epicure party because we run out of Corey's dip really fast around here. Or if you just have a party party, I might come to that. Is there such a thing as a book party? I would SO be there.

Corey wishes there were hunting parties.

Corey : I wish there were hunting parties
Me : ... you have hunting parties all through hunting season
Corey : (sad) Not with food and drinks and show and tell ...
Me : (sad for him) Maybe ... you can MAKE A hunting party.
Corey : (getting excited) Maybe I can!!!
Me : At the same time as my Scentsy party!!!
Corey : (less excited) yay.
Me : How can you have a hunting party though?
Corey : (sad again) I don't know ...
Me : (patting his sad back) I'll google it. (moment of silence) OR you can have a man Scentsy party!

Interesting Fact : Corey didn't think a man Scentsy party would go over well ....

Updating my wardrobe ...

or .... 'not buying old people clothes' or ... 'Gayle being a bossy Bessie and acting all stylish and shit'


Interesting fact : I have no idea what it means to be 'in style'

I am a sale shopper. I see something on sale for 5$ and I'm like a puppy in a puppy food store, and there's lots of other puppies there, and kids and toys and food. It doesn't matter if my grandma would never be caught dead wearing the sweater. I want it!!!! It's only 5$ and that means I can buy TWO!! And it means I can buy that cardigan and that shirt with the inappropriate neckline! BONUS!! I only spent 25$

I consider that a successful shopping trip. My sister does not.

I was convinced to buy only t-shirts.
and a black zip up yoga type jacket, that I wanted for curling (It was over 1/2 off!!!)
I had a gift card and really I didn't have too much choice and Gayle kept nixing my faves or making fun of me. Pretty relentlessly actually. So I caved for the greater good probably.

I will probably drag her ass out again to help me update my wardrobe. Because. Well because I'd like to find better solutions to my problems :

1. My panties are all way too big.
Current solution : Wearing pants that are a little too small.
Problem : I can't actually do up my pants because otherwise I pass out and am unconscious with 2 kids. This is frowned upon.

2. My clothes are out of season, as in the colors are all wrong
Current solution : At least I'm in season for 1 season.
Problem : There are 3 other seasons.

3. Gayle says I own a lot of sweaters, but I actually don't, I just wear the ones I have ALL THE TIME. So I can understand the confusion. They are wearing out.
Current solution : I try not to make the holes bigger by playing with them.
Problem : It's really hard to resist a hole in a sweater.

4. I'm not in style.
Current solution : I try to add my wide belt to make everything look cooler. Or put my jeans into my boots. That's in style too isn't it?
Problem : I have no idea what I'm doing and end up looking like my 2 year old dressed me.

5. I do have a few nice items that Corey bought me before I knew I was pregnant, so eventually I hope to fit them again. Well ... I'm pretty close.
Current Solution : Lose just a few more lbs.
Problem : People might notice I wear the same thing over and over again and Gayle says it's definitely not in style to put Babylegs on to spice things up.

6. I own winter boots, rubber boots, brown boots, running shoes and out of style high heels.
Current Solution : Amelie plays with them
Problem : Going to work barefoot is frowned upon, and I'm not sure how stylish it is to wear winter boots in the spring ...

With all these problems, I can hardly be seen in public. It's chancy enough as it is when I'm dressed appropriately, but to be NOT stylish and crazy at the same time. 0_o.

Me : I'm totally normal. Nothing weird here.
Them : look at that totally stylish girl. Let's talk to her.
Me : I'm stylish!
Them : You are the stylish-est person we know!
Me : Did you know that physiological studies have shown that there is a transfer from the placenta of about 80 ml of blood at 1 minute after birth, reaching about 100 ml at 3 minutes after birth. These additional volumes of blood can supply extra iron amounting to 40–50 mg/kg of body weight. When this extra iron is added to the approximately 75 mg/kg of body iron that a full-term newborn is born with, the total amount of iron can reach 115–125 mg/kg of body weight, which may help prevent iron deficiency during the first year of life.

(Awkward silence)

ME : According to World Health Organization. On the other hand, there is also evidence to suggest that delayed umbilical cord clamping and cutting may put newborns at a higher risk of polycythemia, hyperbilirubinemia, and other neonatal disorders. But I take this less as a fact because it says right in the article that there is 'evidence' but it hasn't been studied or proven.

(more awkward silence)

Them : We have a baby ...
Me : We should have a play date!!! We have so much in common!!

(exchanging concerned looks)

Me : I bought these in a stylish store.
Them : They are SO stylish. You are cool. You must be normal. Let's have a play date!!

Do you see now why it's important for me to update my wardrobe?

Despite the sadness of not getting any of the wonderfully on sale grandma sweaters ...  I bought Christmas pyjamas for 5.94$ at Superstore so I felt better. I also got Amelie a superawesome black dress for next year (7,00$), that she promptly put on between my first load of groceries and my 2nd one and declared it a 'pewfect fit'.

Interesting fact : Gayle wouldn't let me buy ANYTHING cool for Avery. pfffffff.

Lists

I like lists. And spreadsheets. And lists. And I like adjusting lists and making neat columns and adding numbers and grouping them ... alphabetically and by color.

So why can't I make a grocery list, take it with me, and get what I need?

I either forget my list, ignore my list or lose my list. Then I forget what I need and get things I don't need. Now I'm at home without anything I needed and wearing new Christmas pyjamas and eating flaxseed cornchips and ordering from Sweet Baby K.

Interesting fact : My family (husband included) thinks I buy 'old people' clothes. What does that MEAN anyways?? Eventually I WILL be in style you know.

And yes. I AM making a new list. That I will be giving to my sister because she knows how to work a list. Right Patricia?

Task Complete!

Day 14


# 28 - Label all our movies

I actually did this one by accident. It wasn't like I planned it out and had a system. I just basically cut out little pieces of paper that said 'c.linfitt' and taped it on to each dvd case.

It started because I wanted to make my living room more efficient and save myself from constantly pulling my son out of my dvd's and wires and what not. It was a two day project but it worked out quite nicely. Even managed to still do my 1 hour of cleaning and 1 load of laundry a day. I'm hoping eventually to push the laundry to every 2nd day (you know ... for the environment) or even being able to adjust it to twice a week ... something will come up once I get a nice system going.

Proof I labeled my DVDs

It's quite surprising how much cleaning can get done in 1 hour. I never realized it only takes me 10-15 minutes to do dishes ... way less than that sometimes. then to wipe the counters and sweep the floors ... then I even, quite often, have time to clean the bathroom. Last week, I had time to reorganize the bathroom. That did set me back but now I'm even getting to the point that I can plan to do other things/projects in that one hour. Like the basement, the kids rooms, our room, clean the fridge, organize cupboards, keep a running grocery list. It's quite nice. Although I do get 'set back' when my routine is interrupted, even on my sleepiest days I can still muster energy for an hour of cleaning and some laundry. I try to get the kitchen (dishes done and counters cleaned and the floors swept), the porch tidied, a load of laundry in the wash, dried and put away, living room tidied, bathroom tidied and the kids bedrooms tidied. Sometimes it all gets done and more ... and other times not. Sometimes I do exactly 1 hour of cleaning, and other times I keep going (especially project wise)



# 93 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Okay, you're right. It was easy because Amelie wanted to watch it. Still counts.

#96 - Nightmare by Piers Anthony - pretty much the rest of his books from this book on will be on this list haha. What can I say ... they are the bomb. (that means awesome) and I also read Dragon on a Pedestal by Piers Anthony.

#98 - Made a Spaghetti Casserole. It was alright. It had been intended for Gayle, but after eating it ... I realize it is probably not going to agree with baby Avery. Maybe if I took out the onion and red pepper, but then ... there wouldn't be much taste to it.

It was even good as a left over! I made some for Gayle but
I don't think it's a good idea now. She's eating bland.

I'm already failing some goals :


43. Do yoga at least 2 times per week. For 15 minutes.Harder than I thought it would be to get back into it.

46. Go for a walk. Twice a week.I just kept forgetting ... unless walking to the garbage bin counts.
So I already owe 4$ for each of those tasks. Lame-o. I won't count them as failed unless I either quit them, or complete less than half.

Charity = 6$
Kids = 20$
Seriously. I'm starting a spreadsheet for this.

I'm SO excited to start some spreadsheets for this!!!

Will is 9 months!

Will is 9 months. Well ... alright, I'm late with this update post, but seriously, I was otherwise busy. But ... in these pictures he was living his 9th month. As in ... at the end of this ... he was 9 months old... well ... I probably have newer/closer to the 2nd of February pictures, but they aren't on my computer yet so ... this is what you get. I may come back and add more later.

This month, we went to a play/date immunization get together to talk about vaccines where Will saw his 2nd cousin pulling herself up. So. He insisted that she simply could NOT best her ... and decided to do the same thing. Now he 'runs' along the couch and 'reaches' for other objects but not quite walking. Oy. Do they grow up faster the more you have?? He also refuses to say mama ... well ... not true but up till the 2nd he hadn't said it and would reply with Dada ... when I would say ... maman?? He would laugh.

Will pretty much skipped the whole ... pablem/mushed food thing, which is good ... because my blender is mentally handicapped. I had made pears, carrots and apricots and ... something else ... oh yeah. Butternut squash. And he does like his cereal in the morning ... well ... occasionally. At his mémère's insistence I fed him bananas and was rewarded with a happy baby with ... really stinky poop. He pretty much eats what we eat ... except in teeny tiny pieces. He still breastfeeds and no he doesn't sleep through the night and NO I don't want to change that. But thanks.

sleeping ...

not sleeping!

skipping right into solids ....

giant baby Jesus ...

Let me outta here!!

Good parenting ...

from Sweet Baby K (the giraffe that is)

Rice Krispie Cake

Making Rice Krispie cake is supposed to be easy. In fact, Corey says 'Any idiot can do it'. QUITE obviously ... not any SMART person can because ... WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT!!

First of all ... why does it say butter OR margarine? This is B.S. because when I make it with butter it hates me. Hateful butter. But it doesn't taste as good with margarine.

Secondly, you can't make it with just any marshmallows, they have to be pretty recent, fluffy, fresh ones. If you make it with old, hard ones ... gross. Just barf in your mouth it'll taste better. Well no ... it won't ... don't do that. And they don't melt ... ever.

Thirdly, I can't seem to grasp the concept of melting marshmallows. I always end up with a clump somewhere or I get impatient and distracted and it burns to my pot.

Then ... I just can't seem to measure the Rice Krispies without making a huge mess everywhere. They don't pour properly out of the bag and that seriously ticks me off. Then the bag doesn't fit properly back into the box (eye twitch)

By the time I'm done mixing the marshmallow mix with the Krispies, the marshmallow stuff has clumped and is hard to stir. So of course, it's not mixed properly, then I finally get it smashed into the pan ... and in case you hadn't realized it yet, this is about the time I remember that I forgot to add Vanilla. Oy. Vey. (I don't know what it means, but it seems appropriate for this situation.)

I would rather crush ice with my blender.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Dear Me,

I know you try real hard to 'fit' in but don't worry, there are people out there who like you just the way you are! You are SO funny ... sometimes ... and at least 50% of the time you can say a joke at the RIGHT time. Your heart is always in the right place when trying to do something nice for someone. You don't like to attempt a job you can't give 100% to and you've learned that if you take on a task you need to research it so you CAN give OVER 100%. You also don't like to leave things incomplete (even though you have (frowny face)). It bothers you and that's a good thing.

You like challenges and you like solutions. You like milkshakes. You love your children, husband and family. You are protective and like plans. You like organization. You don't mind spontaneity but not at the cost of comfort and safety.

You are picky about who you are friends with, but that's a good thing, you'd rather have a few good friends than lots of people that get under your skin, although you strive to get along with everyone. If you are wrong, you'll admit it, maybe under your breath but you'll still do it. You strive to change if someone else's idea is better and proven. You stick to your guns if you believe you are in the right.

 You are awesome. I love me!

Sincerely, ME.

30 days of truth ~ Day 29 - Something you hope to change about yourself. And why?

Easy. Acceptance.

Not the pretend kind. You know the kind where you say ... oh yeah, smile and nod your head but really you mean 'are you nuts?'. I want to have the kind of acceptance that I can nod my head, maybe not smile or agree, but accept. And move on. That being said (best way to start a sentence ... ever. It's WAY fancier than saying 'on the other hand') sometimes I'm not sure if someone is actually asking advice in a ... you know ... subtle way or if they are just not wanting to talk about something. So sometimes I change the subject and they keep going back to it and  I'm thinking,

"What the hell is wrong with you moron! Are you trying to start a fight? I don't think we can be friends if you keep doing this. I don't want to talk about my blender!!!" you know what I mean?

and other times I can't get off the subject.

Them : Wow that weather is freakin' cold.
Me : You know what's cold? ice. My blender will NOT crush it.
Them : Wow. That sucks. I  hope the roads are okay.
Me : You know what's not okay. My blender. It will not CRUSH ice. WHY have a crush ice button? Actually when I think of it, why have ANY other buttons labeled as 'puree, whip, mix' they just all do the same things except at different speeds! Also, why doesn't it have a caution button ...like 'don't stick a spoon in the blender to try and push things down'?? Bad idea don't do it moron! They have a 'caution coffee is hot' label ...

So, yeah, I want to be able to accept things and ... I guess I better learn how to interpret them better to. Don't want to be just randomly accepting things ... that would be just irresponsible.

30 days of truth ~ Day 28 - What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

BAaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHA

If I got someone pregnant ... I would be a little on the concerned side. Unless I became a fertility specialist I suppose.

If I was pregnant, it would alright. I would be a teeny bit disappointed because I would like to not have to worry at my brother's wedding and if I was pregnant right now my baby would be (calculating) 9 months old at the wedding and ... I would definitely be stressed about that (since I'm in the wedding party and so is Corey) I mean things would work out of course but still ... plus the baby would be born during moose hunting season ... or deer ... ;)

Update! 101 in 1001 things

Okay since it's Sunday ... well actually Monday but ... pretend it's Sunday.

Day 8
Week 2

Or ... is it Day 7, Week 1 ....

I'm starting week 2. That's that.

Now, I was looking at my list and realized I didn't do a couple weekly things.Namely :

19. Give Corey a massage once a week (0/143)
22. Cuddle with Corey on the couch, with a blanket/popcorn/pop/iced tea watch a movie/tv once a week (0/143)
43. Do yoga at least 2 times per week. For 15 minutes.
46. Go for a walk. Twice a week.

Now I realize these should be 'fails' but I'm not going to count them. I had a very hectic, abnormal week, so I said, and Corey concurred, that if I catch up by the end of the week then it can still count. That is quite unfortunate that you don't agree. I hope you don't lose any sleep over it. I won't.

Now for goals that I'm working on .... # 22 went very well with #93. We watched Unforgiven.

I saw a guy on the screen and he said something along the lines of 'put yur gun down mister.' and I said 'THAT'S CLINT EASTWOOD' and Corey said 'no.' and it turned out that ... it was NOT Clint Eastwood. That's an old movie (ish) and ... Clint Eastwood was STILL old in there. Just. Sayin'.

Now money wise ...

Kids = 10$
Charity = 0$

Go me!

30 days of truth ~ Day 27 - What's the best thing going for you right now?

I don't understand the question.

No really. Does it mean ... what am I most grateful for? Or does it mean ... what about me makes me 'special' right now?

Well ... hmmm I suppose the best thing going for me right now is ... okay I'm stumped. I don't know if it's because I still haven't been able to get my balance back after 'the hospital' or if I'm just still too tired to deal with a question of this MAGNITUDE. Come on, Corinne ...

Interesting fact : I haven't referred to myself as Cea since the beginning of my blog. That is hilarious.

Wait! I got it! The best thing in my life that I am doing, is raising my kids. Love it. Best thing ever. And another great thing is that when I go to work, I'll be working on days that Corey doesn't work so it'll be very occasionally that I'll need a sitter. Yay! I like savin' money! Plus Corey really is a great dad! PLUS if we both need to work, I have a small list of available last minute sitters :) I would say that's pretty great.

Just because speech is free does not mean it is without consequence.

I saw that on a friend's facebook status and immediately, of course, thought it was about something I said. Then I commented. Then I deleted because I realized that :

A : Not everything is about me and not everyone is out to get me

B : Letting things rest for a while before kneading is best (like bread).

I also recently was having a fantastic discussion about choosing and God and choices we make and turned it into a rant about my sister's delivery. Lame. Hindsight is always 20/20, but I expect more from myself and was disappointed. Plus it's not like I could 'delete' that. So instead I pumped out an apology for the off-topic rant, but now that I think of it I don't think I mentioned I wanted to keep on the main topic. (Head shake)

I'm also having a different one about education! So good, but this time I kept on topic, weighed what I wanted to say and tried to say it diplomatically and with some sort of intelligence ... I think what I wanted to say came across ... less than intelligibly. Oh well. I blame fatigue.

I also think back to my sister's labor/birth She is my little sister and I'm still trying to analyze, process and file what happened and how I didn't live up to my own expectations. Well, actually, I tried to be diplomatic in the delivery room, overriding my own common sense and that disappoints me like you have NO idea. Okay, well obviously you noticed my rants, I was very displeased that I even had to THINK about being assertive. At the hospital I very much wasn't ready to deal with the consequence of my words, but ... NOW I realize ... they would have been helpless to my common sense.

Well, if you read my blog, or interact with me in any way, I don't know why you would be surprised that I reacted the way I did, by immediate blasting of the wrongs that were done. Seems to me the most logical course of action in order to get across the fact that I was not only angry, but that some real wrong had happened.

It has also occurred to me, that we, as adults, still very much need our mothers. Even if it's just to borrow a little strength to get back to 'operating' levels. (Or in my case 'sane' ... well okay borrowing from my mom won't make me like ... 'sane' per say ... but I'm sure you know what I mean.)

On the other hand, I know I'm putting my pieces back together and will be ready for another battle, another day, even though my mom is busy having some good times ;). And in the meantime some challenging and thought provoking discussions.

Interesting fact : I had to go OUT of my way not to use the phrase ... That being said ...
Interesting fact 2 : I use the word challenging a lot because I like it. Also the word disappointed came up a few times .... deal with it. Was too lazy to google any synonyms.

30 days of truth ~ Day 26 - Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

I don't know. Well, I may have contemplated the idea ... probably. I think I read somewhere that everyone thinks of it at one point or another. But I'm selfish and the thought of anyone else doing things that I should be doing is enough to keep me going. I don't know when I thought of it ... I can't think of any major instance in my life that brought me THAT low, well I can think of low moments, but nothing that low ... make sense?

I don't know what to think of suicide. IF you kill yourself ... I mean that's it. The problem doesn't go away for anyone but yourself. That means others have to deal with it. Sigh. It's a depressing thought in itself. Plus. I'm tired and my mind can't think that deeply right now. How unfortunate that Day 26 ended up being on a day when I can't give it much thought. Maybe I need some coffee.

30 days of truth ~ Day 25 - The reason you believe you're still alive today

Well, I have no idea. Because I am I suppose. I would like to think that there's something I'm supposed to do, or somewhere I need to be ... or maybe I've done it and been there ... and now it's just living. I don't know. Every once in a while I think I know exactly what I'm supposed to do, but then I get days like today where I just don't want to do that. I'm just tired as I write this, which is why it's boring.

Actually, since I'm thinking about it I have noticed a bit of a pattern. Generally when I think I know exactly what I should do, I will begin to think details. Then it seems it peters out until I hit something else. It's never far from my original thought it so I think it's about refining it. Once I get it right, things will just work out I think. I will be available, it'll be in my grasp and all I have to do is reach out and grab it.

Right. This post is about the reason I'm alive. Well ... I don't know. I just am.

Avery Bliss Marie

Avery Bliss Marie
Born Feb 1st, 2011 @ 12:19 am
8lbs 1.8 ounces

I didn't actually know the entire beginning story because Gayle only told me she was kinda having menstrual cramps about every 20 minutes. Meh. We both shrugged it off.

I'll start when I got a phone call. Somewhere around 4:30 am. Scared the crap out of both Corey and I and all our phones were in our room for some mysterious reason! So it was like surround sound in Dolby Digital 5.1. Who does that?  Obviously us.

Gayle told me she was pretty sure she was having contractions. I'd told her earlier to call if they were 'for real' and she was needing company. I should have specified .... 'unless you are dying, wait until later morning' just jokes Gayle lol.

30 days of truth ~ Day 24 - Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

This one is hard because .... I don't know ... music very well. Not radio music anyways ... soooo ... I'm actually going to skip one. I know. WHAT?! okay, okay, I'm going to skip it FOR NOW, but I'll come back and edit it. :)

R.E.S.P.E.C.T
It's my Life - Bon Jovi
Fighter By Christina Aguilera

I'll let you guess to whom I may want this particular playlist sent to .... haha ;)

Zen

I know many people get upset about my rants, because I know some feel personally attacked. I don't want to attack you, I'm venting a frustration that I can't seem to shake any other way. It IS your choice to read it after all, I'm not 'speaking' it out loud so you don't have to listen to me, you can actually choose not to read it, alright? Judging my because of my rants is unfair and gives you a biased opinion about me. Generally, I like to think I'm much more than just bitter and angry. So there you go. I'm not that crazy in real life. ;)

101 in 1001 days

Update

31. Make a habit of folding one basket of laundry and doing one hour of cleaning before going on the computer.
Okay. When Gayle had her baby I totally did not do this, but it doesn't count as a fail. I also allowed myself some recuperation time and started back today.


33. Finish painting/re-attaching cupboard doors
I got new paintbrushes so now I can get at this whenever I catch up on some sleep.


35. Complete at least 4 scrapbook pages per month. (0/33)
I actually have 3 almost done already, so phew! Haha.

36. Find someone (or do it myself) to make a quilt out of Amélie's and Will's 1st year baby clothes.I just got two boxes of Amelie's clothes back, will go through them and decide which outfits I want to make a blanket out of. Will's box is downstairs I think (well the first one) I'll get Corey to bring it up for me soon.

I think I'll try and update every Sunday or something, but for now ... you get this. I'm still tired.

30 days of truth ~ Day 23 - Something you wish you had done in your life.

Another easy one. Well easy to come up with anyways.

Stood up for myself. Stand up for others.

I suck at it sometimes. I wish that in the past, especially after Amelie's birth ... that I would have stood up for myself. It doesn't matter if I don't have facts ... or statistics ... I don't deserve to be treated poorly like that especially after such an intense life changing experience. No one deserves to be treated like that.

I wish I had become a nurse. Damn it. I know, I know. I still could. If I could take the course in PA ... I honestly think I would. Well ... I'm glad I wasn't a nurse ... because then I might not have experienced things the way I did ... hmmm ... food for thought.

Well ... I can work on my confidence. Strengthen it with knowledge. Everyone knows that knowledge is power, ignorance will get you a job at McDonalds for the rest of your life. Okay I don't actually know what ignorance will get you but seriously ... it's 12:46 am and I drank a Pepsi thinking Will would be up all night and he's sleeping so ... just deal with it.

Interesting fact : I met a nurse educator while at the hospital and she told me that PA was hiring midwives. Not gonna lie. I was pretty surprised because I hadn't heard anything haha. She also thought my homebirth's were cool and she answered all my absolutely ridiculous questions very thoroughly. She gets an A.

30 days of truth ~ Day 22 - Something you wish you hadn't done in your life

Seriously ... everything I did made me who I am ... but I'm sure I can pull up something ...

Ohhhh I got one. GAW.

When I was 16, I believe only 3 months after I got my license ... after Christmas(?) I think so, mom was going to Saskatoon with ... someone, for ... something. Possibly a meeting of sorts. Anyways, she told me pretty specifically, don't go anywhere! She was all like 'Gah, it's icy and cold and bad things could happen' so of course ... I said 'yes mom'.

The day she left, we were bored so decided to go get a movie in Bellevue. Needless to say I got into a car accident on some black ice. 9500$ worth of damage on our van. No one was 'seriously' hurt, but the other car was totalled and I'm pretty sure they WERE injured a bit, like physical therapy, sore neck ... not for sure though because I never was told. Double needless to say, I thought my mom was going to kill me. Gayle was with me ... surprised she still gets into the car with me ... but I'm much better now.

As you can see, my mom did not kill me. She was mad and I was grounded (not gonna lie this affected me not at all because I had no social life so haha)

I learned a lot from this, but I could have really killed someone! My sister was on the side they hit ... she has bad luck with that I suppose. Sigh.

30 days of truth ~ Day 21 - (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Okay. This one is really redonkulous. I mean really? Of COURSE I would do the SAME stuff I would do even if we HADN'T gotten into an argument.

I would ascertain her condition and act accordingly, depending on the situation. If it was a minor fender bender, chances are she's got it under control. If it was anything more serious then I would do whatever was asked of me.

I think this question is really silly, but there's my answer anyways.