Maternity Ward/Avery's birth (the nitty gritty version)

This post has been edited.

(If you don't want to read about bad things that happen and want to pretend that everything is la dee dah, then ... don't read it? That would probably be the best thing ... Hey! Consider yourself warned.)

Just because speech is free does not mean it is without consequence.

I saw that on a friend's facebook status and immediately, of course, thought it was about something I said. Then I commented. Then I deleted because I realized that :

A : Not everything is about me and not everyone is out to get me

B : Letting things rest for a while before kneading is best (like bread).

I also recently was having a fantastic discussion about choosing and God and choices we make and turned it into a rant about my sister's delivery. Lame. Hindsight is always 20/20, but I expect more from myself and was disappointed. Plus it's not like I could 'delete' that. So instead I pumped out an apology for the off-topic rant, but now that I think of it I don't think I mentioned I wanted to keep on the main topic. (Head shake)

I'm also having a different one about education! So good, but this time I kept on topic, weighed what I wanted to say and tried to say it diplomatically and with some sort of intelligence ... I think what I wanted to say came across ... less than intelligibly. Oh well. I blame fatigue.

I also think back to my sister's labor/birth She is my little sister and I'm still trying to analyze, process and file what happened and how I didn't live up to my own expectations. Well, actually, I tried to be diplomatic in the delivery room, overriding my own common sense and that disappoints me like you have NO idea. Okay, well obviously you noticed my rants, I was very displeased that I even had to THINK about being assertive. At the hospital I very much wasn't ready to deal with the consequence of my words, but ... NOW I realize ... they would have been helpless to my common sense.

Well, if you read my blog, or interact with me in any way, I don't know why you would be surprised that I reacted the way I did, by immediate blasting of the wrongs that were done. Seems to me the most logical course of action in order to get across the fact that I was not only angry, but that some real wrong had happened.

It has also occurred to me, that we, as adults, still very much need our mothers. Even if it's just to borrow a little strength to get back to 'operating' levels. (Or in my case 'sane' ... well okay borrowing from my mom won't make me like ... 'sane' per say ... but I'm sure you know what I mean.)

On the other hand, I know I'm putting my pieces back together and will be ready for another battle, another day, even though my mom is busy having some good times ;). And in the meantime some challenging and thought provoking discussions.

Interesting fact : I had to go OUT of my way not to use the phrase ... That being said ...
Interesting fact 2 : I use the word challenging a lot because I like it. Also the word disappointed came up a few times .... deal with it. Was too lazy to google any synonyms.

30 days of truth ~ Day 16 - Someone you definitely could live without.

What?! How did I miss this day??? How lame is that?!! Lame I tell you.

I could live without ... angry and bitter, know it all labor and delivery nurses. I don't want them to die, not that kind of living without them ... I just want them to go away.

Why are they so angry? I mean, I'm sure they have whatever reasons, but why take it out on patients??

I'm not here to make YOUR life easier by complying to a million interventions that I will have to pay for ... the rest of my life. Wow. Look I even brought my own support team. You really don't know what's best for me. I'm sorry that because I don't want an epidural I'm going to vocalize through my contractions and that disturbs your lunch. Well, actually I'm not sorry, get a new career. IF you don't have faith in my body, go somewhere else, because I have faith in my body.

That is all.

Disclaimer ;) I am more than aware that not all L&D nurses are like this. You will note, I was pretty specific up at the top.

That was like the lamest little rant I've ever done. Lame.

Informed Decisions

Before you read this, please know that if your birth was at the hospital and ended up pretty traumatic ... I really do still love you. No matter what I still love all of you because you are reading this blog and making me a little less crazy.

Interesting fact : Only crazy people blog to themselves. 
 
Please know that this post is not about everyone and I'm more than aware of what an actual emergency is, which is why this post is important to me. This isn't meant to make you feel shitty about your birth experience. It's to make you question it. Research it. Discover for yourself! if what happened could have been prevented or if what happened was just the way it was.

Let me start off by saying that ... there is a recommended C-section rate of 10-15% by the World Health Organization. (Thanks E). This is a fact. I could have made this up. But you could google it. In fact. You should google it because then you would know for sure ... right? Here is a good link to save you some time (but it doesn't matter where you google ... you'll see I'm not bullshitting you) C-section Granted this is from the States, but Canada is the same.

This all being said, I can't even keep track of how many of my friends/acquaintances/relatives are getting c-sections. I can count on 1 hand the amount of women who've gone without an epidural and I can keep track in my head how many have gone episiotomy free. There are more inductions than natural labor and more people getting pitocin even if their labor started naturally.

Interesting fact : episiotomy is not a word recognized by spell checker.

This bothers me. (not that spell checker doesn't recognize episiotomy)

Yes. It is YOUR birth experience. But I can see you aren't happy with it. You tell me you are fine and that the doctors 'saved' your life and your baby's life. Why do I feel the almost irresistible urge to point out that perhaps your doctor put you in that position that needed your lives to be saved? (I'm not saying he's out to kill you. THAT would be bad for everyone involved fyi)

My labor was 20 hours, it IS NORMAL! Some go even longer, they aren't considered 'failure to progress'. On that note, why are so many people 'failing' to progress?

Now, any of you who've had this happen are thinking, well my reason was valid and here's a good reason for this and here's a good reason for that. I would love to read your information. I would like to see that link and others supporting it. Go on. Where is it? Oh I see here this is a good reason ... did this happen? no? oh.

I've said this before : You will probably not die ... from being informed. (unless you are a journalist researching in another country ... then I can't say for sure).

I've done my research. I know what instances I would choose a hospital birth. I know that my midwife/ves are more than capable of detecting an emergency situation on time (this is because they are with me through nearly my entire labor and are specifically trained to detect an abnormality while supporting a natural, normal birth) I've known them throughout my pregnancy and there are no strangers trying to decipher my chart. They have back up obstetricians that they work with in case of consultations or transfer of care. I know they won't take on more than they can handle. Most importantly they know me and have made the effort to get to know me, my preferences, what I can and can not handle and have helped me stay informed with pros AND cons to every choice I need to make.

SO get off my back about having a homebirth because I DID my research! And unless you want me to reply with 'OMG You had a hospital birth?!" "You're so CRAZY!" "I could never do that. I like the safety of my house" "I've heard horror stories of doctors using all that fancy equipment to torture patients!!" "You are so open-minded to let every nurse and doctor touch your cervix!" "Wow ... you were so lucky you survived all that!" "Good thing they were paying attention" .... do you see where I'm going here??

There are good candidates for homebirth and not so good candidates for homebirth. But even if you would never have a homebirth, you could still research your birth choices. I know people who've had FANTASTIC hospital births and have left feeling amazing! I know some really amazing nurses too. If you want an epidural, do your research so you aren't surprised! by the side effects. That's all I'm sayin'.

Interesting fact : This is not about you. It's about me. So don't try and make it about you. I'm not hating on you. I still want you to be my friend.