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Monday, January 13, 2014

Nikki's thoughts at 8 months old

Crawling is slow
Standing is important
If she can't get where she needs to go - yell for mamamama
When daddy gets home, immediately say dadadadada
pull the cats tail at all possible opportunities
knock down all blocks the moment you realize someone is trying to build something
Yell at all technology - this includes phones, computers, tv, iPds and LeapPads
hit all technology
paper is for ripping
water is only good if it comes from mommy's cup
eating solids that have been pureed is way lame
eating solids is ok I suppose
sitting in a chair at the table is tons of fun
the exersaucer is boring
sock basket should be empty ALL THE TIME
you should always stick your hand in someone's drink. Always.
If it's anywhere near eye level that means it's free for the taking
Strangers aren't cool
Nobody is cool unless mommy is nearby - except maybe Tante Pisha and Tante Maddie, sometimes Memere
sleeping next to mommy is the only place to sleep, except the couch.
Once you're on your back you can't move. Like a turtle.
Biting people is totally fine
If mommy gives you something new to try, throw it away, immediately until you see her taste it first
Showering is lots of fun, tub time too
Only laugh at home around mommy, daddy and siblings - remain serious all other times
the car seat is stupid, and so is facing backwards
Driving places sucks, until we get there, then it's fun, unless there's strangers then it sucks again, until we get used to them, then it's fun, unless there's kids then it's DEFINITELY fun
Markers are fun for jabbing at paper and yelling at
yoga - easy
 

William's thoughts about life - at 3 years old

All problems can be solved in three ways :

1. Pretend you're a transformer and 'transform into vehicle mode to avoid confrontation
2. Pretend you're iron man and use your hand blaster against problem
3. Pretend you're a robot that doesn't understand human language

It should be as dark as possible, all the time. It's more fun trying to avoid things - like legos - in the dark.
Getting a haircut is traumatizing
Avery is awesome
Uncle Leo is is best friend
Sometimes daddy is his best friend (mostly at bedtime)
Snuggling mommy is awesome - only at bedtime
chocolate milk is considered a meal
Jessie is like a living doll and the best playmate
Nikki is fun - unless she's touching his blocks, or cars, or crawling over him or sleeping with mommy
All you need to go outside are mitts and boots - all year
recharging batteries is easy
Toy Story is his favorite movie
Jumping on the bed is a must
The Hot tub IS a swimming pool
Annoying Amélie is a good way to pass time
Santa is over rated
It's someone's birthday all the time
Giving someone a thumbs up is an excellent form of praise
The word poop works for everything
When going to the bathroom you should take your underwear off the moment you realize you need to go
Going outside to go pee is totally fine
When mom yells 'What are you doing?!' Always answer with 'Don't worry'
You are 'dressed' as long as you have clothes on - any clothes
Underpants should be worn backwards so you can see the picture properly
putting socks on your hands make excellent iron man blasters
You should try to catch the fish in the fish tank at least once a week
Run. Everywhere
Throw. Everything.
Climb. Everyone. 

Amélie's thoughts about life - at 5 years old

What being 5 means to Amélie - so far

Bedtime SUCKS
There are monsters under the bed and definitely in the closet
Bears will eat you in the winter
William picks on her
Jack Frost is real
So is the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause and Baby Jesus
Making cookies is fun
Breaking eggs is more fun
Cutting her own hair is just common place
Coloring on the walls is considered art
Snuggling with mom and dad is the absolute best thing ever
Playing with Nikki is lots of fun too
Jessie is a crazy cat that can never live outside because she'll die but can be thrown down the stairs multiple times - and live
iPods and phones have lots of fun games
Using the PS3 can be done in her sleep.
Yoga is way easier than mom says
Mornings are a stupid time to go to school
Christmas should be all year
Planning a birthday party takes all year and people need to be reminded all year so they remember
She wants to grow up and live with us forever
and ever
Getting old is scary
Dancing is lots of fun
Playing dress-up and putting on makeup is even more fun
Hates brushing her hair but loves getting curls
Kaitlin is her best friend
Matante Madison's friend Vanessa is awesome
Matante Madison is old now
Avery is William's friend and annoying - like William
Hitting William is an acceptable form of dealing with him
You can never have too many barbies
Playing iPod or LeapPad while going to the bathroom is completely normal
Being naked all day except when company comes over is completely acceptable
Everything tastes better with sour cream and seasoning salt. Everything. 
Sleeping at Mémère's is fun - without William



Saturday, January 11, 2014

Yoga with children

Yoga in itself is tough, and by tough I mean at first it requires a fair amount of concentration. It's also supposed to be very peaceful and calming.

Add three kids.

Why don't I do it at night when they are sleeping? Because I'm tired. When they sleep, I sleep. In our house kids don't go to bed at 7pm, frankly I think that's absurd because I don't want to get up at 7am.

Back to yoga.

This means I do my yoga in the afternoon, at some point. The first time, Nikki mostly watched the lady on tv, Amelie criticized my moves and William used me as a tunnel for his trucks and cars and occasionally showed me his own yoga moves.

The 2nd time ..... oy vey. Nikki kept crawling under my legs or grabbing me to pull herself up. William decided that I was a new sort of jungle gym, or better yet, a pony. Amelie took pictures because she's cool like that. So between swatting at children, avoiding blocks and cars and attempting to 'refine' my pose in yogo, I got a good workout I would say.

I crawled into the hot tub both nights to try to ease the muscle pain that I would undoubtedly feel. Today, I can hardly move and feeling not that great.

Yoga with children is like talking to someone with tourettes syndrome. Maybe that syndrome is just a side affect of being a parent .... 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Dr. Who

Honestly, I'm not sure why this wasn't my first post for the new year. I mean ... really ... it's pretty much the only show I watch.

I was introduced to it by my sister-in-law. I don't know how it happened but probably something like:

Yvonne : Have you ever watched Dr. Who?
Me : No.
Yvonne : I like it.
Me : Okay.

And then I started watching it. Dr. Who started a very long time ago, probably around the same time as Jesus was born because the very first season is in black and white and I don't think back then they had color t.v. I only started watching when the 9th Doctor started, so the very first episode I watched was called Rose.

I spent that episode terrified of going to the mall, and currently make wide detours around mannequins. The episodes continued and although frequently snorting at the absurdity and the corniness of the show, I understood that low budgets make for low cool-ness factor. I still liked it.

Then. The 9th doctor became the 10th doctor and I - was - bewildered. Stunned. Angry. Offended. WTF!? I didn't understand the stupidity of this move and didn't like the 10th doctor. Then like everyone else, I grew to love the 10th doctor and was angry ALL OVER AGAIN when he became the 11th doctor. GAH!!!!! Now, we are going to the 12th doctor and I am reserving judgement.

AS for the companions - I was sad to see some go, sad because the Doctor was sad and sometimes sad because I liked them. Others I couldn't wait until he dropped their asses off and most of the red-heads were the best.

But guys, Dr Who Season 6 million, with the 12th Doctor doesn't start until AUGUST 2014. I'M SURE!!!!! RIGHT??!!! So now I'm watching Dr. Who Season 1. The very 1st season. In black and white about the Aztecs.

I want a Sonic Screwdriver or a TARDIS for my birthday. I'm giving you plenty - of notice.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Jessie

I really didn't think anything of it when I had seen that Jessie had a siamese looking sibling. For real, I just kind of ... whatever - shrug.

It turns out, Siamese cats have a tendency to be a little on the crazy side. Day-Doh and Jessie get along really well.

Jessie had a sibling - Ice - but let's not talk about what happened to Ice. (RIP) Jessie ... is an all black kitten. She is about (shrug) I forget how old. Maybe 6 months? Maybe not. I forget.

All about Jessie :

Jessie wants to grow up to be a thoroughbred horse, or a panther. Maybe both. She is very quick on her feet - paws. Being quick is what has kept her alive.

She likes to keep things neat and tidy, especially the table and the kids' plates. She's also very, very cuddly and sometimes gets lost in the blankets so to make sure she doesn't get squished she occasionally gives a love bite so you remember she's there. Sometimes she makes sure to give multiple love bites especially while cuddling.

Jessie also encourages exercise and physical activity and does so by chasing you around the house and attacking your legs so you have to quick on your toes! She's very stealthy so you also have to be very alert. Jessie is also a window gazer, and doesn't like her view obstructed with plastic.

Apart from all this, Jessie tolerates being dragged around the house by William. Literally. She's also very resilient, despite her inability to land on her feet. She has developed her own self-defense method and also investigates each new person that comes into the house. You know you've been accepted if she tries to bite your face off or attach herself to your leg.

Jessie is always looking out for us and protecting us from getting cold by making sure there is no part of us uncovered by blankets at night. She gently ... reminds us that we should always be covered up. She also reminds us not to leave our feet dangling ... anywhere. Ever. Probably in case of monsters.

How thoughtful.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Furby

This toy was invented by someone who has no kids. For sure. Amélie, suddenly, decided she wanted this toy - absolutely must have - shortly before Christmas.

SIGH

I was against it. Completely. Mostly because it looked annoying. Corey had no opinion at this point. We decided to get one for a close friend's daughter instead. Hahahahhaahha. Plus - hello it was on sale and I'm all about a great deal.

I googled Furby because I had to make sure it would come with all required apps and whatever - you know? Turns out they will have all needed torture tools to make this Furby come to life. I also had to google it because Corey and I do not have iPhones. We went crazy and got Samsung phones. Unfortunately, Furby Boom is compatible.

Plus. I love a great deal and seeing a big smile.  So I caved.

The first Furby we tried to get her ended up being spotted by her snoopy little five year old eyes, GAH so we had to put it back and pretend that her brother had been about to buy it for her. THEN I found a different one and got that one without her noticing, but my days of hiding presents in the house are SO OVER.

Wait ... why is this post going so crazy?? Anyways, back to the point - Furby. AKA Day-Doh.

Seriously - who the hell picks out the names for these things. Oh wait. Amelie did. In Furby language that means Powderpuff - or in my language it means annoying-big-eyed-pink-fluffy-creepy-rude toy. At first, it was all fun and games, and then it randomly talks at you while you're cleaning toys.

Oh here's me, tidying the toys. La lalalalala
Furby - Day-Doh Likey!!! (imagine the creepiest voice you can think of)
Me : What ... the ....
Furby - Hubba hubba ....
Me : I'm sorry, you're a kid's toy??
Furby - (farts) and laughs hysterically
Me : 0_0!!!!

I banished the toy to Amélie's room. Forever.

Except. FIVE YEAR OLD POUTY EYES happened. Fiiiinnneee you better feed, water, play with your pet. Here's my phone. After a while, I hear hysterical laughter and the apps for this toy ... I mean seriously, there's a toilet?? And he has hairballs?? GROSS Plus is it a boy or a girl? Our Furby frequently changes voices and we are always trying to decide.

Furbys are also supposed to be interactive and 'learning' toys. I don't mean 'learning' like they teach your kid important life things ... but like they learn from being taken care of and speech from kids. Oh yay. (eye roll) Luckily, Day-Doh doesn't spend much time with William or else the only words our Furby would say are swears and poop. And the occasional little rant about how William is best friends with Uncle Leo. So cute.

Back to creepy Furby. I don't see how it's learning anything yet, but it's only been around a couple weeks. I'm just saying it better learn some manners and some nice, polite words or else it's going to end up shoved at the back of Amélie's closet. 

 With the batteries taken out. Creepier than the Furby's creepy voice pattern, are the creepy voice pattern and the light up eyes staring at you in the dark.

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