Working Moms

Lately I've been seeing these posts about how hard stay-at-home moms have it. How exhausted they are, how they need a break ...

I'm so beyond irritated that I am ready to lose my gasket on them.

They are right though, being a stay at home mom is a lot of never ending work! It's tiring, exhausting emotionally and mentally, it doesn't end at 5 o'clock, it goes on and on and it's maybe even monotonous. Laundry never ends, dishes keep going, floors, walls ... but -

It's work that most of us working moms would give our left leg to do during the day. Work that most of us moms still have to accomplish at the end of the day when we get home from our outside jobs. Work that doesn't go away because we don't work from home or just stay-at-home.

Stay-at-home moms have to deal with their kids 24/7. They need a break right? They don't get to 'escape' their kids ...

What about working moms? Their kid was sick all night? They STILL have to get up, go to work and come back and do all that other house work that just sits there all day. They have to leave their child with someone else - if the daycare or sitter is okay with it - and they are worried all day. If they don't have enough sick days, they lose wages. Sometimes if they call in sick it will affect a lot of other people too! They are exhausted at work, which might affect their work, run them down and they might even be spreading whatever the illness was. What if that working mom is a teacher ... where is HER escape?! She leaves her little ones only to go to work and deal with 15-30 OTHER kids.

Working moms don't always work close to home either and have to travel quite a ways to get to their jobs. Sometimes, on those days, where stay-at-home moms are complaining there's no school because buses aren't running, working moms STILL have to go to work. They still have to bundle their babies and take them out into the cold because they have a job to do. Maybe they even do a job that makes a difference in all our homes ....

maybe they run Netflix! ;) Bahahahaha. Well I don't know maybe .... and I would be so devastated if I missed out on my Netflix.

Working moms with babies have to be up at all hours of the night and DON'T GET pyjama days until the weekends. On those weekends, they have to choose between getting their outside housework done or spending time with kids. Guilt sets in because if you don't do your outside upkeep then things start falling apart but spending time with the kids is something super important too. If their kid didn't sleep well during the night and it was an up/down kind of night they still have to get up, go to work, finish the day, come home and do all the stuff that still needs to be done. They don't get to take a nap while the kids are in school, or while the baby naps, or put off housework until later. They sometimes only get minutes to wake up, get ready, get kids ready and go to work - sometimes they are lucky if they get a shower because sleep is more important.

Working moms who put their kids in activities have to make all sorts of arrangements as it is to make sure their child is at the right place at the right time and sometimes they are working just SO their kids can do these activities. Working moms have specific times they have to be picking up their kids, dropping them off. They sometimes can't make it to certain activities and have to arrange for someone else to take their kids, so they miss out on those special times.

Working moms often miss those first words, sometimes first steps, first time on the potty, fun filled days in the snow, putting laundry on the line (bahahahahaha), making bread, splashing in puddles ....

By the end of the week, a working mom literally doesn't stop working to take a break. I have no yet met a working mom who does not appreciate any time with her kids. In fact, the working moms I know will put aside their me time to do something with their kids. I've heard stay-at-home moms gripe that they don't get to go to the bathroom by themselves - really??? Who cares?? I barely get to go to the bathroom at WORK without a little hand banging on the door LOL.

Both kinds of moms have tons of work, tons of stress, tons of worries and decisions to make, tons of responsibility, but one of them gets to spend all their time with their kids. Their kids who will only be little ... one. time. You can't pause them being 3 until you can spend the time with them. You can't put them on pause while at daycare or the sitter. Life keeps going. They keep growing.

When those kids go to school, there are stay-at-home moms who get that brilliant opportunity to do whatever job they want, volunteer, be on boards, have flexible schedules, help with school activities etc ... those working moms get sneered at, frowned at and tsk'ed about because they CAN'T help out. They can't make 24 cupcakes for the class, or come help with a hot lunch. They can't leave work to drive their kids to volleyball, basketball, swimming ... or their kids can't participate because there is no way for them to get home if they live out of town. Some working moms STILL do ALL of that other stuff.

So if you are a stay-at-home mom ... and your kids were sick all night, or they are driving you absolutely mad during some school or summer holidays ... just grab them and hug them. Remind yourself that you get to spend that holiday with them. You get to send them outside and play and distract and enjoy whatever is happening. It's a beautiful sunny day?  You get to make that spontaneous trip to the lake. It's raining on the weekend? Oh well, you get to snuggle and watch movies. You had outside work to do? Oh well, do it on Monday while the kids are in school.

I am totally uber jealous of all those stay-at-home moms, but I have the utmost respect for working moms. We don't all have the 'choice' to stay-at-home. I am even a very lucky working mom. My kids are with a great sitter, they are happy, I work from 8:30-3:30 and although I have to commute, if the weather is questionable I can call in and say I can't make it. My boss was very understanding this year with my pregnancy and I had enough days to cover being sick and when my kids were sick. My husband works shift work and he can be home with the kids here and there. I get holidays and summers off. Soon I will be on maternity leave and although the idea of being home alone with three kids is a little daunting, I'm confident that even on those days where all I want to do is hide with a big bowl of chocolate ice cream, turn on the shower and be oblivious to the world around me, I'm going to appreciate every single second I get.

.... unless they puke because I can't deal with puke. For real. I can deal with any diaper but puke ... oh. em. gee.

In the States, they get 6 weeks .... that's. it. I get a full year, a little over actually.

This blog probably offended every stay-at-home mom out there but I'm a little overwhelmed by how brilliantly offending those stay-at-home moms can be. All you have to do is look into a working mom's eyes to see her wishing she could be dropping off her own kid at school, or picking them up, or even snuggling her sick kid on the couch watching a movie. Don't ever assume that she is not as good of a mom as you because she is working instead of being at home. Ever.

Some moms choose to work because they just plain want to. They still work just as hard. I know so many awesome stay-at-home moms who are all 'braggy' on facebook lol and I'm like ... sooooo jealous but that's what made me write this blog. They are taking full advantage of their time with their kids. Their kid is cranky? Whiny? Sick again? They definitely will post a little something but you can just 'tell' they are SO happy to be able to take care of their sick little baby or toddler or school-aged child. Because I work, I'm relieved that the person that takes care of my kids is just like that. She takes pictures too so sometimes you can see what your silly child is doing during the day. When my kids are cranky - I don't get to 'escape it' at work. There are 26 other kids 3-5 years old waiting for me and the chances of them all being in a good mood ... well you guess what those odds are.

As a working mom, I don't get that 'bonding' that other stay-at-home moms are getting. I don't get playdates in the morning, or afternoon coffee ... I know other moms too that only get evenings to do anything and then all their stay-at-home moms are tired, want to stay home. Sigh ...

I'm am blessed with my job/sitter/life but not all the working moms are so lucky. They don't need to hear that they aren't as good and there are just too many that cry because they have to leave their little ones with someone else.

We can't all work from home, let's face it ... men can not be left to 'rule the planet' by themselves ...

Austin the Cat - etc ...

He's driving me crazy.

All I want to do is throw that cat outside as far as I can throw. He has food and water, but jumps on the counter to get into trouble, pulls down the garbage can and occasionally poops where he wants. He stays up all night playing with any small toy he can find, usually in William's room - driving me utterly insane. Spring better hurry up because this cat's life depends on it. The only thing keeping this cat alive ... is the fact that he LOVES Amélie. He follows her everywhere and wants to sleep right beside her at all times.

Scentsy :

I'm planning a Scentsy relaunch. In February I will be attending a big Spring Sprint and hope to have some great ideas. :)

27 weeks :

I have no idea how I got to be 27 weeks pregnant. Seriously, it's like I blinked and then here I am ... I think I might be rather big for how many weeks I am but it's like I'm petite with a huge belly and some wider hips ... it's weird ... 0_o.

Baby N :

Amélie loves this baby already. I hope it sticks. I'm not even a little bit worried about juggling three kids because I am secure and confident enough to say no to things I think will be too much. There is no reason to spread myself thin to please other people and I trust that they will consider that when I say no instead of flipping out. The people in our family and friends are pretty considerate.

Maternity Leave :

Holy Hannah I'm so looking forward to it. I like to take at least a month ahead of time to get the house ready, to spend time with kids, to be able to sleep on a schedule that my body wants instead of what work needs. I have some sick days as well so I am going to use some and be done in March. I have a day in mind but still juggling it around.

Spring :

Usually I don't get antsy about spring until February but, is it just me, or is winter extra long this year?

Wind out of the sails

Sometimes ...

Sometimes I think people forget that everyone has feelings. You know? Like ... look out for yourself and screw the world.

I'm not saying we need to put everyone first, but sometimes it seems ... hard and cruel, when it should be compassionate and gentle. You know?

Everyone makes a mistake or two but why are we all so hard to forgive.

Sidenote : This is not about that drunk driver person, in any way ... just ... fyi.

Sometimes, I feel like people will say something hurtful to me in defense - because I was not gentle about their feelings first. Birth is a big one and too many people get offended at just being around me - or so it seems. I'm sure it's because when I say a truth - it hurts them to hear that it's not good for everyone at the hospital. I have forgotten that they have feelings too I suppose and should be gentler and word things differently. Perhaps they have that little thought in their head and it hurts to have it tugged at ... sometimes you just want to let something go.

But. Truth really needs to be told. It just does and it should not be withheld because it could help.
But. There is always a way to say it gently. It might have to be screamed at some point, but why do we jump there from the get go?

Is it just me or are there a lot of misunderstandings in this world? You know? When someone says something hurtful why don't they talk it out? No really! I mean yeah ... it's hard but wouldn't we be showing kids that we all care about each others' feelings, even when ours are hurt?

Kids are whiny and tired and asked to do things to make them into 'good successful adults'. Why? Why don't we teach them, instead, to care about others? Isn't that successful enough? Do they need three cars? Do they need a million dollars? Do you need fancy clothes? Do you need Kool-Aid drinks?

Sidenote : Frankly Kool-Aid drinks are the devil in liquid form but that's just my opinion ...

Recently, I started looking up organic foods, canning, freezing, Pinterest-ing recipes. I posted something about mashed cauliflower and got a few comments. Instead of getting defensive or angry, well I did for a second or five, I realized how utterly ... ridiculous that was. Really. People can't tell my tone of voice, they didn't know that I was just 'saying' that I couldn't fool my children. I wasn't looking for advice on how to hide it or different ways to do it ... I was just saying a rhetorical comment. Instead of blasting about it, I decided to relax and take it like it was. Innocent advice. I explained the situation, thanked for the tips and then asked for tips I really did need - like soup recipes.

Why create a rift or friction for something so small and insignificant?

There are bigger things to be frustrated about, that we probably have many common cause over.

Like the penalty for drunk driving, why do some people get more rights than others ... and why do pedophiles get let out of jail, ever ... no for real, like why? Who, ever, needs a semi-automatic gun to go hunting ... are they that bad? Why are they getting pissed off about not being allowed to own a gun like that anymore? Instead of putting billions of dollars into learning how to make bombs and you know ... those ... big ... (hang on while I try to remember) .......... tanks! why don't we invest in gardens? I mean ... we could feed a lot of people with a billion dollars worth of gardens and fruit trees ... couldn't we?

Plus ... why do we ship oil to the States, then ... pay double to buy the gas back? Or ... why don't we just put money into being more energy efficient? Why does everything have to be about profit ...

Why are people selling so many things on Kijiji? Why not give it away? Yeah ... some things you want a little bit of money for but things like kids clothes, toys ... etc ... you know?

I really feel, like we've all forgotten how to care about each other.

Why are we all so selfish?

I don't know when I realized it - but a big thing for me was being given - yes given - three sets of maternity clothes from three different people. Just ... given to me. For free. No charge, no 'rules' just here ya go. I look around and other people are selling them for SO much money! We also had someone give us their time to work on our car last year ... just ... give us the time. If that's not humbling, I'm not entirely sure I know what is ....

Sometimes ... I feel like the wind has been taken out of my sails, and other peoples' sails too ....

Terrible Tuesdays

I despise Tuesdays ...

Tuesdays are dance days and they are fine when I can just go home and Corey takes Miss Cranky Pants himself ... but then I miss talking, in peace and quiet, with everyone else there ...

Most days, I get Miss Cranky Pants and Mr. Energizer Bunny. Omg-it's-so-horrible-I-can-hardly-think-of-it-without-cringing.

At first, it was totally fine because it wasn't Canadian Stupid Winter. I was also about 35 lbs lighter and less pregnant. When I started getting the headaches - ick. Now that the headaches are gone, I am counting the days until recital in March because Mr. Energizer Bunny and Miss Cranky Pants are not handling long Tuesdays well - and neither am I.

It starts off early at 6:30 am, and drags on allll day until we get home at 6:45 - when we walk back into the house. I started packing snacks for the kids while we wait because it's JUST far enough that I can't go home before going there, but when I get there I don't have time to do anything, but I have to sit and wait and entertain Miss Cranky Pants who just woke up from her Tuesday nap and Mr. Energizer Bunny who wants to run everywhere I can't see him. Plus he's noisy and loud and I can't sit and enjoy a conversation.

I despise Tuesdays ....

By the time supper is ready when we get home it's 7:15-7:30 and then relax time and bed ... BLAH!! It makes me so exhausted just thinking about it because kids are hyper, like right now, and NOT sleeping, and whining and .... siiiiiigggggghhhhh.

Of course, I wouldn't change them for anything ... :)

26 weeks

Or ... you know ... whatever ....


Baby N moves around a lot, when I'm sitting down and driving it's the most annoying. At first, the amount of weight that I've put on in such a short span was driving me crazy, but then ... I remembered this IS my third child ... I mean ... my body is just stretchier .... isn't it?

I'm more tired this time around, and kind of wish I could cut down my work days but ... with this cold and crappy weather it almost HAS been cut down because I refuse to drive when it's -40. Blech!

On Thursday I'll have more stats, maybe ... unless I forget all the info ... which is possible.

The ultrasound we had in December told us that so far everything was good so that's helpful.

I don't have anything else to say ... this is a really boring update.

Want to hear about Pinterest instead?

I found some great recipes there! (oh sorry you said no?)
I also found some 'why are these on here' recipes ...

Then I started pinning things I would like to get for Baby N.

Pinterest is a really great way for me to keep things organized ...

Now that I look at how many weeks pregnant I am ... I'm still pretty far away ... darn it. I wish spring would show up already (BAHAHAHAHA it's only January)

That's all I got for tonight ... hm. Maybe next post will be more entertaining ...

I'm looking for soup recipes if anyone has any? Some that are great to freeze?

Stop saying Fuck.

As Corey and I are surfing Pinterest, searching for a recipe for stuffed mushrooms, and using innappropriate language, Amélie suddenly looks at us and declares :

"Stop saying Fuck. That's a bad word and you shouldn't say it. Are you a bad guy? No. So you don't say that word. Fuck is a bad word. Then I say it and it's bad."

There was no way we could keep a straight face. It had maybe slipped out once, but she heard it, while wearing headphones and surfing on YouTube.

Oh man oh man ...

We laughed. I had to immediately go to the washroom.

We also got in trouble for laughing.

I should point out that earlier today she also said 'Holy Fuckers that's nice' while we were surfing online. I had told her we don't talk like that and only daddy talks like that because he doesn't have an expanded vocabulary with good describing adjectives.

Pregnancy Week who the hell knows ....

It's so not important. It might be if I wasn't sure about my dates or I was ginormica I suppose, or if there was a problem I guess ... but since the ultrasound especially - I have lost track. I know I should be between 22 weeks and 24 weeks or ... whatever. When people ask how far along I am I shrug and quickly calculate backwards from my due date and throw out a 'I have about 4 months left' answer. I will figure out my weeks in the New Year just so I can update my picture because I suddenly have this belly. It's not twins. I'm pretty sure most of it is cookies because it's not like baby is kicking any higher.

I also haven't seen my midwife in a while ... since my first appointment. WHOA. Stop panicking bahahaha! Seriously people - is there no person responsible for their own health anymore? ;) This is my third pregnancy and we had made a bunch of decisions right at that first appointment. Decisions such as : Ultrasound date and when to follow up if there was concerns, checking blood pressure, and checking in with problems. I did check in at the end of November - ish with headaches but those are long gone after some chiro and massage. Then I checked in after my ultrasound but there were no concerns so I booked for the end of January.

Don't I need to be weighed and measured? Why? I'm not gaining excessively - okay I'm gaining faster than my first two but give me a break. I'm pretty sure my body is just adding extra layers because it's so cold. There is no swelling or high blood pressure so far and the ultrasound gave me the exact day I had predicted so .... why measure?

Don't I want to hear the heartbeat? Well ... at first it's always the most important thing I need to hear but then I realized something as time went on. What would I do about it anyways? No really though ... if there is no heartbeat ... it's already too late to do anything! Now that I've felt movement or movement that I could say for sure was baby (at 16.5 weeks or 16 weeks - just like with my other two) I can tell what baby is up to.

Aren't I worried about baby's health? Of course! That's why I eat healthy, stay away from the unhealthy stuff, get some excercise and keep my stress down. Okay well I do the best I can haha. I am more than aware how quickly things change when it comes to babies and since I'm not the all knowledgeable midwife I'll be checking in the New Year and more regularly after that.

For those who are dying to know though : At Christmas I weighed 130 lbs. Although this is a lot for me to have put on in a short period of time I understand and accept your hatred because you may already be more than that and not pregnant. ;) The problem for me will be later if I continue to gain so quickly - my knees and body will be more tired and sore. I put on 50 lbs for my past two pregnancies but most of the weight gain was in the last 2 months. If I gain like I usual do near the end, I'll be over 150 but like I will point out to anyone who asks, I'll lose all if not most of it.