Before you read this, please know that if your birth was at the hospital and ended up pretty traumatic ... I really do still love you. No matter what I still love all of you because you are reading this blog and making me a little less crazy.
Interesting fact : Only crazy people blog to themselves.
Please know that this post is not about everyone and I'm more than aware of what an actual emergency is, which is why this post is important to me. This isn't meant to make you feel shitty about your birth experience. It's to make you question it. Research it. Discover for yourself! if what happened could have been prevented or if what happened was just the way it was.
Let me start off by saying that ... there is a recommended C-section rate of 10-15% by the World Health Organization. (Thanks E). This is a fact. I could have made this up. But you could google it. In fact. You should google it because then you would know for sure ... right? Here is a good link to save you some time (but it doesn't matter where you google ... you'll see I'm not bullshitting you) C-section Granted this is from the States, but Canada is the same.
This all being said, I can't even keep track of how many of my friends/acquaintances/relatives are getting c-sections. I can count on 1 hand the amount of women who've gone without an epidural and I can keep track in my head how many have gone episiotomy free. There are more inductions than natural labor and more people getting pitocin even if their labor started naturally.
Interesting fact : episiotomy is not a word recognized by spell checker.
This bothers me. (not that spell checker doesn't recognize episiotomy)
Yes. It is YOUR birth experience. But I can see you aren't happy with it. You tell me you are fine and that the doctors 'saved' your life and your baby's life. Why do I feel the almost irresistible urge to point out that perhaps your doctor put you in that position that needed your lives to be saved? (I'm not saying he's out to kill you. THAT would be bad for everyone involved fyi)
My labor was 20 hours, it IS NORMAL! Some go even longer, they aren't considered 'failure to progress'. On that note, why are so many people 'failing' to progress?
Now, any of you who've had this happen are thinking, well my reason was valid and here's a good reason for this and here's a good reason for that. I would love to read your information. I would like to see that link and others supporting it. Go on. Where is it? Oh I see here this is a good reason ... did this happen? no? oh.
I've said this before : You will probably not die ... from being informed. (unless you are a journalist researching in another country ... then I can't say for sure).
I've done my research. I know what instances I would choose a hospital birth. I know that my midwife/ves are more than capable of detecting an emergency situation on time (this is because they are with me through nearly my entire labor and are specifically trained to detect an abnormality while supporting a natural, normal birth) I've known them throughout my pregnancy and there are no strangers trying to decipher my chart. They have back up obstetricians that they work with in case of consultations or transfer of care. I know they won't take on more than they can handle. Most importantly they know me and have made the effort to get to know me, my preferences, what I can and can not handle and have helped me stay informed with pros AND cons to every choice I need to make.
SO get off my back about having a homebirth because I DID my research! And unless you want me to reply with 'OMG You had a hospital birth?!" "You're so CRAZY!" "I could never do that. I like the safety of my house" "I've heard horror stories of doctors using all that fancy equipment to torture patients!!" "You are so open-minded to let every nurse and doctor touch your cervix!" "Wow ... you were so lucky you survived all that!" "Good thing they were paying attention" .... do you see where I'm going here??
There are good candidates for homebirth and not so good candidates for homebirth. But even if you would never have a homebirth, you could still research your birth choices. I know people who've had FANTASTIC hospital births and have left feeling amazing! I know some really amazing nurses too. If you want an epidural, do your research so you aren't surprised! by the side effects. That's all I'm sayin'.
Interesting fact : This is not about you. It's about me. So don't try and make it about you. I'm not hating on you. I still want you to be my friend.
5 comments:
I had three hospital births. The first, I was young, alone and scared. It sucked. I was cut, I tore, inside..outside, up, down, back to front... the word for it..Third degree tears. I used no drugs for any of the three. I used no epidurals, no induction meds, I did it naturally, in the hospital. For babies, two and three, I was not cut, I did not tear, but I had also switched dr.'s after the first ordeal.
In my opinion, it's exactly like you said, Corinne, it's a choice you make that best suits you. I made the hospital birth, the way i wanted it... I had a very pleasant experience with the last two babies... Makes me even want a fourth...haha. Don't tell Matt!
I think the great thing is, that as women, we have the choice! I am so happy you found a choice that worked for you...and for the people who judge... They have no right. They are not in your body or your mind. Glad you are strong enough that even while being judged, you continued to birth your second child YOUR way!!!!
Pam. That is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Thank you. :) Informed decisions. I also get a lot of criticism because Amelie ended up in the hospital, but I blogged about that ... experience. If I were to do-over, I know exactly what I would change. And I did. With my 2nd. :)
My first birth was in hospital, and it was a shitty deal. I simply did not know what I did not know. I made decisions based on limited options and what I was told to do.
Second birth was out-of-hospital, and it was much better. I surveyed my options, I got serious about what I wanted and what scared the shit out of me. I made decisions based on what the evidence supports as the best options for a low-risk woman and baby because I value evidence-based care.
I don't believe all women should have babies at home, or that all women should have babies in hospital. I don't think that any midwife is fabulous simply because she's a midwife. I don't think all OBs are arrogant assholes looking to pull the wool over a woman's eyes. I believe women have to put as much effort into researching their options for birth as they do into picking a Blackberry model... at a minimum. Women will always remember their births. It is something transformative whether we would like it to be or not. It can leave women feeling abused, mislead, guilty, ruined, etc. Or it can leave them feeling they just grabbed the world by the ass in labour, so why not grab it in other situations?
My wish is for every woman to choose what is best for her and be able to say "I chose X because of..." and to be able to stand by that decision.
We're thinking beings. We deserve to be treated as such.
Corinne - just want you to know that i read your blog and I still want to be your friend. LOL :) I agree - it is all about being informed and making your own choice. Thanks for putting this info out there! And I am sorry you had such an awful experience.
I had three births in the hospital, i cant say they were tough. but i have health issues and they showed up . My labour for my first two were very long and my oldest kept doing summer saults and twisted the cord around his neck (after day 5) they decided i had to have a c-section, i recovered in record speed and absolutely had the best Doctor i cannot and will not complain about her or any of the others that were there when Jordain was born. Laura was born in Saskatoon and my ob was very good and we had decided that if labour had not progressed in 12 hours there was no way she was going to let me go days and i refused to be stuck in the hospital for a week ( i am not a good patient) but my ob was out of town on family emergency and i was stuck with a dumb bitch yup no other words for it. She refused to see me for 2 days , meanwhile i have other doctors conferring with us and getting ready to do something when the dumb bitch comes in and says " pfft she hasnt even progressed" well there was a jersey doctor there(jersey docs are almost docs but not quite) he freaked on her ass told her the baby was in distress and that was not how you treat human beings . To say the least he was our hero and he was there when Laura was born , he rushed her to neonatal and sat with her till Denny could go be with her, her problem was she was blessed with my heart condition awwww but she was perfect and beautiful. My body refused to dialate with both no 1 and 2. so needless to say no. 3 was a c-section . And was told no more babies cause my heart and my doctor couldnt take it anymore lol. I never felt like i had no say i always had someone on my side like that jearsey doctor , yeesh he was the biggest blackest man i had ever seen but he was kind and didnt jam his hands into me like i was a heffer he didnt even check me he would ask me questions and went by that. I bet he is a wonderful doctor some where.
I never thought anything about you having your babies at home shoot they use to do it 50 yrs ago, who is to judge . we all have a path to walk and hurdles to climb , maybe yours is to bring home births to the fore front. Im behind you it wasnt for me , but im sure if i had health i sure would of cause i hate hospitals.
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