Church

Today's church episode : We decided to go to the 7pm mass tonight so that tomorrow we could stay home and have a nice brunch and relax. I got organized and had Corey pick up Nolan because there was no way that kid would survive an hour at church without supper and we had just a snack before going to church. We had just gotten home from Amelie's weekly drama day.

It turned out my kids were the only ones there.

The priest saw this. "I see we have 3 children here!" He announced cheerfully. My stomach fell, "I'd like to invite them up to talk to them."

He called them up front. Yup. You read that correctly. He called my 3, hungry, somewhat antsy kids to the front of the church and he recognized William immediately from previous masses. I prayed for the Apocalypse. I would have settled for a power outage.

I followed because - I totally saw a disaster coming - and sat in the first pew.

Only one pointy finger and super serious glare. I didn't even worry that they announced that I had NOT fed them supper yet.

#estuWilliam? Or that one of them thought she was supposed to go somewhere else. Or that one of them wanted to touch EVERYTHING. Or that one of them kept practicing her drama faces. Then it was over and we went back to our seats. Nikki wanted to go downstairs. I relaxed then and thought - great … now we can move on calmly. But no.

I clearly needed to learn some other horrifying lesson. He called them up to the ALTAR. William has spent most of the mass coughing - he wasn't coughing before mass but hello public. As they filed by me I muttered awful threats to behave. I'm probably going to hell. But wait - there's more. We survived the altar thing with minimal issues - just some hand grabbing technicalities. We went up for communion and once back in our seats Nikki was devastated she was the ONLY one in the WHOLE church who didn't get communion. I spent the rest of mass consoling her that she could in grade 2. "But that's SO FAR AWAY MOM! That's 2ieme annee!"

#Ineedwine

You guys. Why do I do this to myself? But then one lady behind us squeezed my hand and said she just 'loved my kids and was glad I brought them'. Fine. You win God. #Istillneedwinethough