Monday, June 13, 2016

Crazy Chicken Lady

One day ... not that long ago, I was washing dishes. Nikki was outside with Corey and so was Missy and he was 'keeping an eye on them'. I soon realized they were nowhere in sight but yet I could still see Corey. I put my shoes on and stomped outside, furious. I found  Nikki sitting in a tire and Missy and Odie were by the road. I gestured at the dogs in 'SEE??!!!!' and stared at Corey meaningfully. He sheepishly shrugged and said 'They're fine ....'. The worry I had about the dog was that Missy would get into the chickens ... but then ....

I saw it ...

out of Odie's mouth. A white ... chicken. I lost all thoughts of humane behavior. I was furious and disappointed and I freaked out. I called at him furiously and then he ... ran. away. OMG. Let's just add some desperate arm gestures and frantic calling of names. I took off after him, still screaming like a cray cray. I got to the end of the driveway and took off jogging, because guys, Odie is old and if I kept at it I would catch him. EXCEPT

Corey did not hold Missy. He figured she would obey him.

What. The. BAD WORD. DUDE I can't even express how pissed I was. It was like an explosion. So I had to double back, dragging Missy who was just trying to come with me ... I guess she thought she was helping. Corey gave her shit - I still blame him for not just holding on to her like CRIPES.

Anyways, then I realized I wasn't going to catch Odie anymore so I ran to the house to put my boots on because he had cut into the field. Corey said he would 'go catch him' but I was all ;

Take care of your bleep bleep dog, try training her. I wasn't very polite at this point because all I could see was my poor chicken. :(

So I grabbed a lead line - I don't know why - and trudged through the pasture, still yelling at Odie. I couldn't find him, I crawled through a fence and eyed the tall grass. The chickens are doing a good job with tick control in the yard but .... I trudged through anyways. I still couldn't find him. Depressed and disappointed in the dog I've been bragging about for so long at being SO GOOD with the chickens despite being a lab ... I went home. I even pat Tinky's nose I was so out of it (hate him). I got to the chicken coop and there was Odie, acting super guilty. I couldn't even touch him I was scared I would strangle him. I stomped to the house, too mad to even yell at my husband for not holding Missy and making me lose track of Odie.

Later on, Corey came back in and told me he counted the white chickens and there was 10 + Little Peep. I stared at him.

Are you sure?

He nodded. Before we went to Garth Brooks I went out to tuck my chickens in for night and counted. Everyone accounted for. I looked at Odie bewildered. What the hell did he have in his mouth that he absolutely had to hide from me?!

It's a mystery!!! I checked all the chickens, and there WAS one looking a little more ragged than the rest but ... he wouldn't ... carry a chicken all around the country would he?

I'm stumped but relieved I didn't take my anger out of him.

But seriously ... what was in his mouth?

Twilight music

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