Sunday, August 5, 2012

Welcome to the Family Yvonne

Saturday was my brother's wedding and I was in charge of the welcome to the family speech. After a few requests to see it I decided to post it. Here it is :

This is going to be short and it’s going to be weird.
It won’t make much sense – I don’t have a beard.

Gayle wanted to help, she offered some tips
But her rhyming sucked.

You’ve known us a while, too bad for you.
So our nonsense, at least, is nothing new.

You’ve been with our brother, seems like forever
Last night was your last chance
Chance rhymes with pants

The day’s finally here, you’re part of our clan.
Don’t worry, stay sane – what am I saying?!
Conversations will change, less censor I’m sure
That worries you? It should we’re immature.

So far you’ve been great at what’s on your plate
Which is impressive considering we’re eight

We’re actually seven but that didn’t rhyme
I’m sorry for that I ran out of time.

You get no new brothers, unless you count Corey
I know, I know, he’s a whole other poem story.
But he’s here for Devon and he’s here for you
He knows what it’s like to be in your shoe-z

He’s been here for long, he’ll guide you around
Our crazy but happy merry-go-round

Oh damn this is long, and oh boy- it’s just weird
I’ve yet to hear Gayle.  Please bring me a beer.

Sisters, of course, you get just four more
Yay hormones and drama just like a cold war.

With Maddie, the youngest, you’re patient and kind
Her questions and queries you don’t seem to mind.
You play referee when push comes so shove
I’m sure that you’ve earned her no matter what love

You’ve survived Gayle, one entire year
I’m sorry for her, here … have my beer.
By now you must know she’s so full of sh - (shtuff)
but If you’ve been hurt, she’s got the most grit.

Patrica is next, her jokes make no sense
Thank you for laughing, we’re still in suspense
If it’s help you need, you know where to go
Unless you can’t find her, go online – say hello

Two sets of new parents you’ve now inherited
Just wait while I laugh in double hysterics
Mom is still smiling with all this hubba
I’m sure you’re her favourite daughter-in-law

They love you like one of their own, so they say
Rodger, Dad and Dawn, change favorites each day

And last but not least, there’s me I’m Corinne
The oldest and shortest and have a great grin
I’m crazy and weird or so you say
It takes one to know one, so come on this way

To quote Doctor Seuss, who inspired this speech
We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird,
and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

You’re my new little sister and I’m honoured and touched
You’ve asked me to be here, I love you so much
Into this chaos, I announce it officially
We welcome Yvonne, into our family

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