Rice Krispie Cake

Making Rice Krispie cake is supposed to be easy. In fact, Corey says 'Any idiot can do it'. QUITE obviously ... not any SMART person can because ... WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT!!

First of all ... why does it say butter OR margarine? This is B.S. because when I make it with butter it hates me. Hateful butter. But it doesn't taste as good with margarine.

Secondly, you can't make it with just any marshmallows, they have to be pretty recent, fluffy, fresh ones. If you make it with old, hard ones ... gross. Just barf in your mouth it'll taste better. Well no ... it won't ... don't do that. And they don't melt ... ever.

Thirdly, I can't seem to grasp the concept of melting marshmallows. I always end up with a clump somewhere or I get impatient and distracted and it burns to my pot.

Then ... I just can't seem to measure the Rice Krispies without making a huge mess everywhere. They don't pour properly out of the bag and that seriously ticks me off. Then the bag doesn't fit properly back into the box (eye twitch)

By the time I'm done mixing the marshmallow mix with the Krispies, the marshmallow stuff has clumped and is hard to stir. So of course, it's not mixed properly, then I finally get it smashed into the pan ... and in case you hadn't realized it yet, this is about the time I remember that I forgot to add Vanilla. Oy. Vey. (I don't know what it means, but it seems appropriate for this situation.)

I would rather crush ice with my blender.

My blender and I

We got a blender for Christmas one year. It has the stainless steel and the clear tops. 6 different settings and a stop button. And it has sat on top of the fridge for most of it's life, other than the occasional milkshake.

Last year I ordered a magazine (more about said magazine in another post) and found a few smoothie/slushie recipes. Yum. Well ... here is what I've discovered about my blender.

1. IT doesn't crush ice
2. Even though it has a 'crush ice' setting. It really doesn't crush ice
3. It purees everything
4. Except ice cream .. it liquefies ice cream
5. and Nuts, it turns nuts into powder
6. if you put in ice AFTER you are done pureeing everything else for your slushie, it doesn't pull the ice down to 'crush'
7. Which doesn't matter because it doesn't crush ice, despite the crush ice setting
8. It deals with bananas exceptionally well
9. It makes good milkshakes.
10. IT can not be turned on without supervision or the 'spill proof' lid flies off.
11. IT doesn't make batter or bread dough for me.
12. It IS relatively easy to clean if you do so immediately after use.
13. IT would be better if it would be less inclined to puree everything
14. If you are watching carefully you can get it to chop nuts, bubblegum and other things but you must turn it on, then immediately turn it off and filter through the items. (always remove container from bottom before doing this)
15. Do not use if you are not fully awake or capable of coherent thought.
16. Always have paper towels and hand clothes or dish cloths near you.
17. Better yet, wear coveralls and eye protection
18. Adding water to something you are trying to puree may liquify it to being just ... a juice
19. Always assemble in the correct order to prevent liquid from leaking and spraying everywhere
20. Unplug it when done so that you don't accidentally turn it on and drop your drink, forcing you to either quit and have water, or start over.